


(god bless) the broken road

by aboutiny



Category: Cravity (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Dancers, Domestic Fluff, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29931849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aboutiny/pseuds/aboutiny
Summary: “Just for today,” Wonjin softly whispers.Hyeongjun closes his eyes and let out a deep breath, “Just for today.”And they both lower their heads.(or a story where contemporary dancers, Ham Wonjin and Song Hyeongjun, broke up with each other exactly a day before their performance)
Relationships: Ham Wonjin/Song Hyeongjun
Kudos: 12





	(god bless) the broken road

**Author's Note:**

> I finally finished this fic after procrastinating for too long! This is actually the longest one shot I've ever written, so I was kinda nervous on how it would turn out, but after completing it, I think it's quite okay? Please take note that this is actually angst (I think), but the flashbacks are full of fluffs that made me squeal big time while writing this haha. Enjoy reading, though!~
> 
> *ps: title from a song "God Bless The Broken Road"

[(god bless) the broken road.]

The waiting room is a bit of a noise and chaos. Of course, everyone is preparing themselves before they go up to the stage, including a boy with light orange hair who has just taken out the makeup pouch. Unlike usual, he has no motivation to perform today. He feels mentally drained, he just wants to finish the performance fast and have a good night sleep—it’s just a mere wish though, and he knows it. He’s pretty sure that he will go home with pain, as if he isn’t pained enough currently.

Yesterday was the worst day he had in so long. It’s reasonable, he had just faced a break-up. If someone doesn’t feel sad after breaking up, it’s probably because that person didn’t love them enough. At least, that’s what he believes. He wonders whether the other performers in the room notice the tension within him and his ex.

Ham Wonjin.

That boy is actually sitting next to him, but there is a noticeable gap between them. They don’t talk to each other as well. Probably they will sit separately if only they don’t share their makeup and their hairstyling tools. Yeah, they never spent extra money for makeup artist nor hair stylist because they can do it themselves—surely not as great as professionals, though.

Hyeongjun holds up his hand mirror weakly, looking at his swollen and dark eyes from crying overnight. There is no way to fully hide them and thus he regrets not compressing his eyes before coming to this place, but he hopes the full-coverage concealer can at least make him look decent. 

Then this part comes—Hyeongjun has to draw his eyeliner. He usually fails when he tries to draw his own eyeliner, but this time, he has to. Hyeongjun clenches his heart as his hand hovered over his eyelid.

Just when he is going to paint a stroke, someone suddenly takes it forcefully, causing him to curse under his breath as the eyeliner _almost_ stained his cheeks. He doesn’t need to turn his head to know who’s the culprit, yet he still turns his head slightly, giving the brunette a deathly glare.

“It’s not that hard to ask me to help you,” Wonjin lightly says as he drags his seat closer to Hyeongjun, “Come on, let me help you.”

On their previous stages, they would help each other, but now that they’re no longer dating, Hyeongjun can’t just casually come to Wonjin and ask for his help, especially when the break-up was just yesterday. He would rather struggle to do the makeup on his own than sprinkling salt over the fresh wound. However, the eyeliner is currently in Wonjin’s hand and he can’t do anything about it, so he silently faces him with his eyes shut.

Hyeongjun flinches a little when their skin made a contact. The touch still feels the same, after all it’s from the same person, still with the same feeling, but he doesn’t want to let his guard down; therefore, his tensed body.

Wonjin apparently feels it. “Relax, it’s just me,” he said lowly as his hand was still busy painting on Hyeongjun’s lids. The younger just snarks, “Exactly, it’s you.”

“Hyeongjun…”

His voice got softens, and Hyeongjun can visualize the older staring at him with his puppy eyes. He’s secretly thankful that his eyes are closed, because he hates those eyes. He hates them because he always falls for them, because he can’t resist them.

Hyeongjun waits for what he is going to say, probably a lecture like _‘We’ve talked about this yesterday’_ or such, yet he only got a sigh before he felt his touch on his skin again, and the moment passes by with a wrapping silence.

“Open your eyes.”

The one with huge eyes finally flutters his eyes open, blinking several times while Wonjin analyse his face, no, his eyeliner. Hyeongjun tried to look past his shoulder, yet he found his gaze fell on the red, swollen pair of eyes in front of him.

Hyeongjun carefully asks, “Did you cry before you came here?”

“I thought it’s obvious,” Wonjin replies as he signals Hyeongjun to close his eyes again. It’s a matter of seconds that the younger feels the eyeliner brush on his lid again.

“It is. I just want you to confirm it.”

“And now that I have confirmed it, is there something you want to say?”

“Nothing…,” Hyeongjun trails his words, “I just want to make sure I’m not the only one crying.”

The older laughs dryly, “Of course you’re not.”

“Well, I mean, you didn’t cry in the practice room.”

Wonjin has finally finished fixing the eyeliner and the other has opened his eyes again. The older then places the eyeliner between Hyeongjun’s fingers, signalling him to do the same thing he has just done.

“You didn’t cry too, if you forgot,” Wonjin throws a smile —that the younger can’t decipher the meaning behind it— before he closes his eyes, “yet you burst out when you went back to the apartment, I bet.”

Hyeongjun starts painting the black strokes along the lash line, “And you’re sure of that because you did the same thing?”

“Who wouldn’t?” he inserts a moment of silence before he scoffs, “We’re still in love, Jun, we’re just… don’t mean to be together.”

The orange-haired boy stops his work to look away. The statement is nowhere near shocking, yet he still feels each of his breath got heavier. They both love each other, _god_ , they fucking love each other, he wouldn’t doubt it. It’s just… he doesn’t feel the need to say it out loud. What would they gain from it, anyway? Nothing, just pain.

Just like today’s performance, will just make their wounds ache more, yet they can’t do anything about it since they have taken the offer weeks ago.

He ends up brushing it off by saying, “Let me just finish this fast so we both can finish our makeups and rehearse before we go on the stage,” and the older doesn’t object.

As they’ve finished their makeups and recalled the choreography, they’re now waiting on the backstage with both their hearts thumping inside their cages. Even when they’ve performed a lot of times already, nervousness still can’t be brushed off. They keep a safe distance though, afraid that they can’t hold the urge to intertwine their hands.

“Jun, I know it’s hard for us, but let’s do our best, okay?”

The younger nods, “Yeah… Let’s show the audience what they want to see.”

After minutes of waiting, they finally heard “Now for the next performer, let’s welcome HamSong!”

And it’s followed by the cheering and clapping sound from the audience. At other times, those noises made both of them feel at ease, because they know the audience will enjoy their performance just how they enjoy performing as well. But this time, it was different. Those noises just made them even more nervous, because both can’t deny that they’re not ready for their performance tonight, and probably will never be ready.

As they have set themselves in their position —body facing each other with their heads down—, the light slowly gets consumed by the darkness.

“Just for today,” Wonjin softly whispers.

Hyeongjun closes his eyes and let out a deep breath, “Just for today.”

And they both lower their heads.

After a few breaths passes, the lighting slowly brightens the room as the instrumental starts, but still maintains to be slightly dim. Wonjin and Hyeongjun lift their faces, interlock their gaze, getting closer to each other, moving perfectly in harmony. 

**_I set out on a narrow way many years ago_ **

**_Hoping I would find true love along the broken road_ **

Two years ago, they collided in a solo contemporary dance competition, both were crying their hearts out in the restroom after the competition had ended. People might think that they were crying because of the competition, considering none of them grabbed the medal, but no.

In fact, they were at their low points.

They both recognized each other when they were in the restroom. After all they were both the participants and still wearing their stage outfits, wiping their makeups as their tears kept falling off their eyelids. And as they were both loud, it was only natural for them to engage with each other, simply asking why the other was crying and sharing a bit of their stories, in hope to get a little weight lifted off their shoulders, and perhaps, got a little comfort from each other. 

What they didn’t expect was the fact that they were in the same position, battling the same thing.

Wonjin was the first one to open up, saying that he had just broken up five days before, and that he was still haunted by the presence of his ex. It caused him to broke down sometimes, especially when he saw another couple welcoming their loved ones with a warm smile and a calm embrace; they remind him of his relationship, before the break-up happened.

If it was less than a week for Wonjin, it was almost three weeks for Hyeongjun.

Actually, his last relationship had brought him more harm than good, and it was a _‘Finally!’_ moment for Hyeongjun that he managed to get out of that loop of hell, but he wouldn’t lie and say that he didn’t miss his ex at all. He dated him for a reason. There was something that drowns Hyeongjun in, and even after he had seen the toxic side, he kept on succumbing into the pool of love.

That’s why the pain was still as vivid as ever, because he longed that self, the side that he fell for at the first place.

“So we’re the heartbrokens,” Wonjin blurted out mindlessly which got Hyeongjun laughed between his tears, nodding as an agreement to the statement. “Yeah… we are.”

The older joined him laughing as he wiped his tears, “Do you want some… hugs?”

“Please.”

And that day, they swore to themselves that they would be there for each other, despite it being their first time seeing each other. They knew they have their other friends that practically knew them well and how their respective love stories unfold, but leaning on a stranger, moreover someone who knew how they felt better than anyone else, wouldn’t hurt, right?

**_But I got lost a time or two_ **

**_Wiped my brow and kept pushin’ through_ **

**_I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you_ **

Hyeongjun likes to be comforted, by both words and touches. It made him feel worthy of love, especially because he rarely got them from his latest ex.

When he felt down, Wonjin would show up to his apartment with his thick hoodie, slid onto his bed, pulled the younger into a hug, and let him cry on his shoulder. Hyeongjun would share all that clouded his mind and Wonjin would comfort him with his words and caress.

At times, they would watch a movie together in the darkness of the room, both wrapped in a blanket with Hyeongjun laying on Wonjin’s chest. Wonjin would have the urge to kiss the top of his head, but he didn’t dare to do it. Head kisses, forehead kisses, just kisses in general; Wonjin thought they should be shared with a special someone, while he was just someone to comfort him. After all, their relationship was no more than that, and he didn’t want to cross the line, so he would usually stroke his hair instead, hoping it would be enough.

And for Hyeongjun, it was more than enough.

On the other hand, Wonjin likes to be distracted. He likes words and touches too, but he would still think about it if he didn’t occupy himself with something else.

The time the older had a breakdown, Hyeongjun would take him anywhere, especially crowded public places, as long as it didn’t remind Wonjin of his ex. Arcade was one of the places they visited a lot, since Wonjin is all about games and having fun. Hyeongjun is on the polar opposite, he wasn’t good at arcade games at all and he always lost while playing with Wonjin —unless the latter purposely made Hyeongjun win—, but he didn’t mind it, as long as he’s able to see a smile or laughter creeps on the older’s face again.

A place that Hyeongjun usually took him after they got tired of doing other things is the chocolate house. It’s a rather small place that sells petite to large chocolate boxes, but the purpose of them coming there is the huge chocolate fountain near the corner of the roam. Make a skewer of marshmallows or fruits and coat them with the chocolate from the fountain, and they got their instant serotonin boost.

Slowly but surely, they become each other’s rainbow.

They become each other’s spring.

They become each other’s sunshine.

And they couldn’t have it any better.

**_That every long lost dream led me to where you are_ **

**_Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars_ **

**_Pointing me on my way to your loving arms_ **

Almost two months down, and though they were still recovering, they have gotten so much better.

Until Wonjin saw his ex with another boy when he was queueing to buy a cup of coffee and he, once again, was broken.

Hyeongjun found him pressing his apartment doorbell without notifying him beforehand, and thankfully he wasn’t away at that time. Wonjin showed up with his head down and his hood hiding his face. And when Hyeongjun lift his chin up, he was shocked to see how miserable Wonjin was. He had never seen him this broken before, not even when they first met. 

That was the only time Wonjin refused to go to a crowded place, telling him that he was too drained to see a lot of people. But Hyeongjun couldn’t just let him cry in his apartment, because Wonjin isn’t like him. He will always need a distraction, thus the orange-haired grabbed him by his wrist and took him out of the apartment.

They walked in the alley accompanied by the muffled sound of people, the younger still had his hand on the older and the latter was just trailing silently with his hood up and his head low. Wonjin was clueless on where the other would bring him, but it wasn’t like he had a choice anyway. He occasionally wiped his tears as they walked, the visual of his ex with someone new was still clear on his mind.

It was dark and cold when they entered the room of the destined place. Mirrors all over the wall welcomed them, reflecting their silhouette as the only light source was from behind them.

“Do you seriously think I can dance in this condition?”

Hyeongjun didn’t answer him. Instead, he left him standing near the door to turn on the lights and play a slow song through the speaker. He extended his arm to Wonjin and the latter just chuckled softly, “You don’t even answer me.”

Even so, he still took his hand and let the younger take him by the waist, keeping their body close to each other.

“Because I don’t need to.”

Hyeongjun started to sway their body left and right following the melody of the song being played, sometimes guiding Wonjin to take small steps. They stared at each other in silence, but it wasn’t awkward. It was nice, and both of them enjoyed it. Wonjin had stopped crying as well.

“Forget him and let him go. Go ask yourself, do you still like him or do you just miss your moments with him? Considering how you’re already doing so great all this time.”

Wonjin stayed silent, absorbing his words and thinking about it deeply.

He forced himself to recall that moment; how his ex was brightly smiling while holding the other man’s hand, how they exchange small laughter, how the happiness was evident and Wonjin felt it even when he was metres apart from the two. But somehow, he despised the idea that he still likes his ex. He felt… nothing, for him.

“I think… I miss how happy I used to be when I was still with him. When I saw them together, I can feel that they’re happy, and I longed that feeling, because he made me happy. But I don’t think I like him, not anymore.”

“Yeah, I can see.” He smiled softly, “But Wonjin, he isn’t the only thing that makes you happy.”

They stopped swaying, but both didn’t move from their position. Hyeongjun cupped his cheek with his right hand, stroking the tears stain with his thumb.

“You also have other sources of happiness, and I know dance is one of the things that makes you happiest; so, dance, Wonjin. Dance until your tears dry out, dance until the sadness drains away, dance until all you feel is happiness. Who cares if you’re not able to dance well when you’re feeling down? What’s important is that you care for your own well-being, that you remember your life is still worthwhile, that you have the will to move forward and break free from the strings of the past.”

The older didn’t say any words after that, he couldn’t say anything. He just looked at how brown orbs in front of him stared at him with genuineness. And a few beats after, Wonjin found himself snuggling his face on Hyeongjun’s shoulder to cry again; this time, rather because of his ex, it was because of himself.

He likes dancing since he was still a toddler that his parents decided to put him into a dance academy, where he learned more and more about dancing, developing his love and passion towards it. Every time he practices, he would look at how his confidence oozes, how his eyes are burning, how his body moves swiftly; then he would feel proud and happy of himself when he managed to do it well. If he didn’t do it well, he would practice more and more until he felt satisfied.

Yet after claiming to himself that he’s passionate about dancing, he still overlooked the importance of it in his life. His high standard towards how he pulled off those dance moves, was probably the reason why Wonjin always dances at his high points, and never at his low points. And he felt like a fool, because it took Hyeongjun, someone he knew for only some weeks, for him to realize it.

Wonjin was still sobbing when he felt a hand patting his back, and that hand was still constantly comforting him even after he got calmer.

Hyeongjun pulled away after a while, “Do it. Change the song and dance freely. I’m going to cover all these mirrors so you won’t look at yourself.”

He flashed a smile before he walked to the corners of the room and dragged the maroon red curtains to cover the mirrors, while the older chose a song for him to dance to. The beat started to echo all over the room, alternating from left to right stereo. He closed his eyes, and as if there was wind swaying his body side to side, he let his emotions take control over him. Maybe he had let out a little of his tears in the middle, he didn’t care anymore.

Wonjin’s moves were swift, though a little sloppy, and Hyeongjun was in awe. Watching the older dance wasn’t a new thing to him since he had searched some of his dance videos on the internet, but watching it live was another thing. He couldn’t take his eyes off him simply because Hyeongjun could feel it; the emotion, the pain, the beauty. And the fact that Wonjin flashed a shy smile after the song had finally come to an end made it even better.

He stood up and clapped, claiming the intention of the older.

“How do you feel?”

“Insanely… good,” his smile reached his eyes, “How was it?”

“Very emotional and heartfelt, it was exceptional. I should’ve recorded it,” he smiled back. He swore he could see a spark of happiness in Wonjin’s eyes, and he was glad seeing that.

The two sat and leaned on the curtain covered mirror after the older changed the song to a soft instrumental tune. They exchanged no words, just Wonjin breathing heavily and Hyeongjun peeked at him at times. It was then the latter finally opened his mouth, “Hey, do you want to dance with me?”

“Wait, let me catch up my breath. Dancing with your very soul is tiring.”

“I’m not talking about literal dancing, silly,” Hyeongjun hit his shoulder lightly, “I’m asking if you want to dance with me, on the stage, as a duo.”

Hyeongjun didn’t know how long he had been waiting to say that. It could be said that performing with a partner has been his dream for a long time, but he hadn’t found someone to ask to be his partner, until Wonjin came into the frame. After watching him dance, Hyeongjun felt like they would match well on the stage. Or was that just his little heart telling him that because he wanted to perform with the older? He didn’t really know.

Wonjin didn’t expect that at all, but he liked the idea. So he nodded, “Of course, of course I’d love to.”

He put his hand on his shoulder, before the younger finally snuggled and they hugged while seating with the music still playing in the background, before they found themselves watching dance videos together minutes after that.

Somehow, Wonjin didn’t think of his ex anymore.

**_This much I know it’s true_ **

**_That God blessed the broken road_ **

**_That led me straight to you_ **

Day by day, the intensity of them seeing each other increased. As they’re a duo now —going by the name ‘HamSong’ simply because they couldn’t think of a name other than through combining surnames even though it’s a bit ugly— they decided to use the studio Hyeongjun usually used, which is the same place they went the day Wonjin saw his ex with someone else.

Rehearsals were fun now that they were not alone. On days where they felt fiery, they would dance randomly during the break time. Turned out Wonjin have a hip-hop background and Hyeongjun have a waacking background as well, so usually they would dance according to their respective styles and hype each other. Doing dance battles were a thing too, but usually it would get too heated and they would end up giving death stares to each other.

And on days when they felt drained, they would just plop themselves on the floor and lie around. Sometimes they order some drink or food as well, and they would lean on the mirror wall, eat, and talk casually. What they didn’t realize is, they both would sneakily look at each other.

Wonjin appreciated Hyeongjun’s eyes, how huge and watery they are. His eyes would reflect any source of light, creating little stars inside his eyes. It was like seeing the universe inside them. Wonjin felt like he wanted to drown himself inside, swimming into all the beauty they hold. He also liked it when Hyeongjun smiled and his eyes would be in the shape of a crescent moon, yet the stars would still be evident. He felt like seeing an angel, because Hyeongjun was a personified beauty.

As for Hyeongjun, he just likes the overall side profile of Wonjin. Deep eyelid crease, big nose, thick lips, defined jaws, flawless skin; Hyeongjun found them all breath-taking. Wonjin has a smile line on the right side which made him look sweet and adorable when he smiled. But when he wasn’t smiling, he would look a little intimidating, especially because he furrowed his eyebrows a lot, but still handsome.

Among all of them, Hyeongjun liked Wonjin’s lips the most. They were the nicest pair of lips he had ever seen, and he knew he wasn’t the only one who thought that way. When most people in his life have a pale or light pink shade of lips, Wonjin’s lips were very pink that Hyeongjun thought he always used liptint at first when in fact he only used untinted lip balm. They were thick and plump as well. There was something that Hyeongjun wanted to keep within himself, that he always wondered how it would feel to touch them, especially with his lips. It was embarrassing to think about, because he shouldn’t have thought about kissing a friend, but he couldn’t help but found himself wanting to do it.

With the mirrors and the speaker as the silent witnesses, they both realized they were slowly drowning themselves to each other as time goes by.

**_I think about the years I spent just passin' through_ **

**_I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you_ **

A few weeks flew away, and the two dancers became even closer than ever.

It was the cherry blossom blooming season when they were sitting on a bench on the side of a lake after walking in a nearby park. Compared to the park where it was packed by couples taking pictures, the lake was rather calm with only a few people there. The cherry blossom trees weren’t that many either, but the view was still breath-taking.

“Hey, this one’s cute. Send it to me,” the younger said as they scrolled Wonjin’s phone, looking at the pictures they took earlier at the park.

“Uh, but that’s me.”

“Yeah, you’re cute. Quick send it to me.”

Hyeongjun probably didn’t realize that his nonchalant words had made the older shy. Throughout the whole day, Wonjin was already distracted by him. It wasn’t like he didn’t get distracted on any other days, but today was… different. He was glowing, especially under the cherry blossom trees. Probably it was because couples were found everywhere, so he felt like they were on a date as well.

Nonetheless, Wonjin still shared his own photo that the orange boy has taken, and the latter squealed a little after receiving that. _Cute._

They were just staring at the reflection of cherry blossom trees in silence after that, with Hyeongjun leaning on Wonjin’s shoulder, and the latter leaned his head on top of the younger’s head. Wonjin’s moved his arm to do a gesture which has become his habit; running his fingers through Hyeongjun’s hair. He didn’t play with it too much though, or else it would ruin his styled hair.

“We have a competition in two days yet here we are, going out instead of rehearsing.”

“It’s okay baby, I enjoy it.”

Wonjin could feel Hyeongjun tensed a little before he turned his head a little, causing the older to look at the round eyes of him.

Yet he didn’t say anything, so Wonjin asked, “…What?”

“You called me baby.”

The older stops his fingers for a split second, realizing that the pet name had slipped up. He muttered a curse under his breath before saying, “Sorry, I think that’s because there are a lot of couples today.”

Hyeongjun laughed it off and stared into the distance, “You can call me that, though.”

“Really? Since it’s not really a platonic pet name, at least for me.”

“Don’t use it platonically, then.”

Wonjin stared at Hyeongjun with an unbelievable look, while the other didn’t budge from his position.

“What are you trying to say?”

What he wasn’t prepared for, was Hyeongjun lessening their distance until their noses were almost touching. Wonjin slightly held his breath, and somehow, not sure if his eyes had been deceiving him or not, Wonjin found Hyeongjun looking at him with sparkly eyes, like he was pleading him. He wondered if Hyeongjun was thinking of the same thing he did that moment.

“Are you always this dense, Ham?”

Whilst it was silence on the outside, it was loud on their chests and minds. Wonjin was still unsure that the younger actually felt something for him, while Hyeongjun was nervous to get any type of reaction from him. The tensed air aroused in a split second, and at the end, the younger closed the distance between them, putting his lips on top of the other’s and moving them softly.

It was no more than five seconds, just enough for Hyeongjun to show his true feelings. All this time they spent together, and he was positive that the older had at least a tiny bit of interest in him as well; that was what pushed him to be transparent about his feelings when he had the chance to. However, he wondered if he was right, considering Wonjin hadn’t said or reacted anything. He broke their eye contact, staring at the lake instead to hide his shyness even though he acted like a brave one just now.

“Sorry for that, but you should’ve got it by now.”

Still, nothing came out from the brunette.

Did Hyeongjun read everything wrong?

A couple of moment passed with no one saying anything before Wonjin finally called, “Jun…”

The younger could feel his cheeks and ears heated up by the said name, but he didn’t say anything. On the other side, Wonjin was giggling inside as the way Hyeongjun avoided to look at him was too adorable. No, he wasn’t ignoring him intentionally earlier. It was just that he hadn’t finished processing everything. It happened too fast, and he needed to compose himself before he screamed out of happiness in front of the silent lake.

“Hyeongjun, look at me.”

Another attempt to made Hyeongjun looked at him also ended up in vain, and Wonjin might’ve had an urge to tease him as well as took advantage of the opportunity, so he took his chin and dropped a quick peck on his lips, smiling after he saw Hyeongjun’s widened eyes.

“Yeah, you should be sorry because you kissed me and didn’t give me the chance to process everything and kiss you back.”

“You literally did the same thing just now.”

“That’s a peck, baby, that doesn’t count. I only did that because you keep avoiding my gaze.”

Hyeongjun’s cheeks and ears got even more red —not sure if it was because of how Wonjin called him baby or how he acted as if the peck was a casual thing or how he called him out for avoiding his gaze—, and once again, Wonjin found it adorable. He himself was blushing too, but Hyeongjun was already as red as a tomato.

“Cute,” he smiled, “You deserve some cute kisses,” and the brunette started dropping small kisses, first on his forehead, then down to both of his eyelids and cheeks.

Hyeongjun had always known that he always craves for affections, especially after the hell that his last ex had put him into, and the way Wonjin showing affections made him giggled in between. The older is a soft and sensitive person, he knew, but he didn’t expect him to do this when they hadn’t even settled their status. It was a new feeling for him as no one ever gave him such soft kisses all over his face like that, and he never knew he needed it so bad.

As Wonjin pulled himself after kissing the tip of Hyeongjun’s nose and the giggles came to an end, he asked, “Let’s kiss properly next time?”

“If there’ll be a next time.”

“Well, do you want a next time?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Hyeongjun leaned his head once again on his shoulder and Wonjin played his hair once again.

In the warmth of the spring season, surrounded by the lake and cherry blossom trees, they made it clear that they had each other on their hearts, and even when they left that place with no romantic status between them, it was okay because they knew they felt the same way.

**_But you just smile and take my hand_ **

**_You've been there, you understand_ **

**_It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true_ **

Yesterday was the competition day, and thankfully, they could hear the cheering and burst confetti when HamSong was called. Right after they hugged on the stage with happiness filled their senses, they came to the backstage and found some of their respective friends who came to see them competing, which they ended up eating together with after they left the place.

_“Let’s celebrate it just two tomorrow.”_

_“Is it a date or is it a casual eating out?”_

_“That’s depends on how you want it to be.”_

And there he was, sitting within the afternoon air of the café, nervously waiting for the specific someone to occupy the seat in front of him. His hand was holding some stalks of red roses arranged nicely in a bouquet. He took out his mist and sprayed on it before he smelled it, feeling how the floral scent tickling his olfactory system, and smiled right after.

Hyeongjun was back to waiting the older, and he finally came in after a few moments with a casual black tee tucked in a pair of jeans and his hair was styled to showcase his forehead. It was Wonjin’s usual look, yet it didn’t fail to make Hyeongjun’s heart fluttered a little. He was, as always, dazzling, even with minimal effort.

On his hand was a bouquet too, except the flowers are white instead of red. They weren’t roses too; gardenias, after Hyeongjun took a closer look. Once Wonjin landed his butt on the seat and gave him a bright smile, the younger asked, “Is that for me?” as if it wasn’t obvious enough.

Still, Wonjin played along.

“Is that for me too?” he pointed the flower bouquet on Hyeongjun’s hand, and they ended up exchanging their flower bouquets after Hyeongjun replied with a nod.

It was like their usual meet ups, except there were little silences between every topic they talked as both of them were a bit shy. Hyeongjun kept on glancing the white bouquet sitting nicely next to his plate of food.

It made him remembered something: that he wanted to ask the older out, except he didn’t know when to do it.

Wonjin must have seen how the younger looked at the bouquet every once in a while that he finally said, “You know what, we should just date at this point. Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

A blink, two blinks, then he screamed internally. He wondered how the older was so calm saying that while it made his heart did a full somersault. Not going to lie, it hurt his pride a little because he wanted to be the one who ask the older out, but if the result would be the same, then why not?  
  


Still, he tried to be calm and collected as he snarked, “What a _not_ romantic way of asking me out.”

“You want me not to ask you out at all? Okay, noted.”

“Kidding,” he took Wonjin’s hand and dropped a kiss on the back of it, “Let’s date.”

Their cheeks got red in a split second, and euphoria instantly filled their heart.

The rest of the day was spent just walking aimlessly on the sideways with their hands intertwined, letting their feet to lead them anywhere—from entering one shops to another, playing the swings on a park, until having a karaoke on a karaoke room. They basically did everything impulsively, but as long as they’re together and happy, right?

As the sky was getting darker and they need to go back inside, Wonjin insisted to walk Hyeongjun home even though the latter said not too, so they walked together until they reached the door of the younger’s apartment.

“You want today to be our _next time_?”

“Psychic,” Hyeongjun chuckled while pressing the codes to his apartment, “But no, it’s getting late and you need to go back to your apartment.”

Once the door got unlocked, Hyeongjun gave him a little wave prior to entering the safe place of his, but then he was pulled into a welcoming kiss by the brunette. He froze for a short moment, and before he realized it, his hand already found its place on the crook of Wonjin’s neck.

He thought of how he had imagined kissing the older would be, and now that he experienced it himself, it was all he imagined; soft, gentle, and sweet. Wonjin was careful with his touch, as if the younger would break if he pushed further, but Hyeongjun was a little eager, so he leaned in and pulled Wonjin even closer —if it was possible—, trying to tell him that he didn’t want to let go, ever, because there was nothing he needed other than him.

Wonjin was the first one to break the kiss, and Hyeongjun noticed how his plumped ones were a bit redder than before. He smiled, then he dropped a forehead kiss before he finally gone behind the door and the older got consumed by the distance of the corridor.

And that was how they ended their day one.

**_Every long lost dream led me to where you are_ **

**_Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars_ **

**_Pointing me on my way to your loving arms_ **

Spending days as a couple made them domestic, if they weren’t domestic enough even before they started dating. Sleeping together in one of their apartments was a casual thing between them, and usually they would hug each other to the dreamland, just like a newly married couple. Wonjin was happy that he could now freely kiss the top of Hyeongjun’s head without holding himself back like before, and Hyeongjun was happy that he got that type of affection.

None of them knew that much about cooking, just as long as they had something to stuff their tummy in the early morning, so the one who woke up first would prepare either french toast with a sunny side up or something instant, like noodles or pancake mix. The one who woke up late would come into the kitchen after a while, and that was where the act had turned into a movie scene: back hugging the one who was still cooking in front of the stove. No head kisses though, their height are literally only one to two centimetres apart.

While the one who cooked differs depending on who woke up first, the one who prepared the morning coffee was strictly Wonjin, thanks to his picky tastebuds towards coffee. He likes something rich and strong, the type of coffee that could awaken his senses the whole day. Hyeongjun, on the other hand, prefers lighter and sweeter coffee. Tea is fine too, Hyeongjun would take anything that isn’t too bitter.

They would do their own things and drown in their own business after breakfast. On certain days, they would go to work—part-time jobs, Wonjin works in a coffee shop and Hyeongjun works in a flower shop. Sometimes one of them would meet up with their friends, and the other usually didn’t tag along. They knew each other’s close friends, but they didn’t really blend with them. They just thought that moments with friends shouldn’t be merged along moments with boyfriends, or at least, not too much.

And when evening came, they would meet up at the studio, doing their usual routine of rehearsing. One of the reasons they kept the schedule to rehearse in the evening until night was so that they could go back to the apartment together, ended the day with a soft pat on their head and a good night kiss, then drift off to sleep with each other on their arms.

_“Take a good rest, baby. Good night.”_

Throughout the relationship so far, they felt comfortable and happy. They filled the empty spaces with each other, and it was enough to make them feel contented.

**_This much I know is true_ **

**_That God blessed the broken road_ **

**_That led me straight to you_ **

Happily ever after, of course didn’t happen in real life.

Wonjin and Hyeongjun, who met at their worst, developed their bond in an intimate way, and finally got into a romantic relationship, growing closer and closer into each other. People said they were a match made in heaven, they themselves thought so too, but the universe begged to differ.

Slowly but surely, without knowing why and how, their relationship had turned toxic. Maybe it was because they spent too much time together that they got too used of being with each other, they weren’t sure either, but they slowly became too possessive and overprotective with each other.

_“You’re not supposed to go out with him.”_

_“Am I not important to you anymore?”_

_“You said he’s your friend but you prioritize him.”_

_“We’re supposed to go on a date today, but of course you can’t make it, what do I expect.”_

_“Exes don’t talk the way both of you do.”_

Fights here and there, arguments by arguments, they faced them a lot. Either they were actual big problems or just small problems which got blown out of the portion, they both affected their relationship, and not in a good way. Exhaustion point had been felt several times, yet they tried to hold onto the thin strand of string connecting them together. They knew it was getting unhealthy, that the problems took a big toll on them, but they continued in the name of love, hoping that it would be enough.

But no matter how hard they tried to maintain the relationship, it didn’t work out.

At the end, they met their downfall.

“Aren’t you tired?”

They were at the practice room at that time, both sitting on the floor and leaning on the mirror.

Heavy pants were heard from both of them, yet Hyeongjun knew the question wasn’t about his state after rehearsing, but rather about how he felt towards their relationship. Even so, he stood in between and kept the conversation grey.

“Of course. Aren’t you too?”

“Yeah, I am too.”

The heavy silence came back again after that, choking their throat and suffocating them. If it was possible, they wanted to run and hide from the tension arousing. They didn’t even look at each other nor sitting close to each other, and it just put more awkwardness in the air.

Wonjin closed his eyes as he finally asked Hyeongjun something he had been dreading to ask for a while, “Should we just… end it?”

It was _the_ crucial sentence.

Hyeongjun diverted his gaze to look at him, and he noticed how the older closed his eyes, probably afraid that he would break down once Hyeongjun looked at him with begging eyes.

“But we have a performance tomorrow?”

He bit his lower lips after that, hoping that the shakiness on his voice wasn’t too obvious to notice. At this point Hyeongjun knew he was just searching for reasons to avoid _it_ to happen, because he wasn’t ready to let go, because his feelings didn’t change, because his heart was still beating for Wonjin. But deep inside, he knew it would result him nothing.

“I know... but I don’t see why we should prolong it if we would just hurt ourselves.”

Wonjin was also conflicted, because just like how Hyeongjun still love him, he also still loves Hyeongjun. But he knew what was the most important, that is to prioritize themselves. Staying in a relationship that hurts one or both sides wasn’t a great choice, no matter how much you still love your partner or how much you still love each other. Relationships are supposed to help people grow, not to destroy them.

So maybe… this was the time.

Hyeongjun let him go, “You’re right… Let’s just end this then.”

“Okay.”

And that was it.

Both of them wanted to disagree, both of them wanted to go back to each other’s arms so bad, but nothing happened. No tears, no arguments, no yells. Just them, agreeing to end their relationship with a heavy feeling on their chests.

They parted ways after leaving the studio, back to their respective apartments. And that night, rather than accompanied by warm cuddles and head kisses, they were hugged by the cold empty bed and islands of tears on the bedsheet.

**_That God blessed the broken road_ **

**_That led me straight to you_ **

The stage got dark once again, except for the spotlight which shines the centre of the stage. It’s reaching the last part of the routine, where they are supposed to walk slowly from the sides and finally meet each other in the middle, linking their arms and joining their foreheads.

Hyeongjun can see it. Even with glistening eyes that blurs his vision, he can confirm that what he sees is true. Wonjin cries, he sees a droplet of tears falls of his eyes and he doesn’t wipe it off, clearly because the performance hasn’t ended yet. Even so, his stare is soft, and Hyeongjun can’t handle it. He isn’t ready to fall again, he isn’t ready to feel again.

Maybe it hurts more because the song they choose is too sweet, just like their love story before it all went downhill, and Hyeongjun is trapped between his feelings and his mind. It’s just less than a half minute more before the end of the performance, and being a professional, he should’ve continued it and wrap it nicely even though it’s hard. Just like most performers’ mindset: it’s not done until it’s done.

But perhaps his little heart has won the internal battle, so instead of stepping forward as what he’s supposed to do, he chooses to step backwards.

He gulps, feeling at the brink of breaking down. He doesn’t dare to lift his gaze to meet the eyes of the older, because he is afraid. Hyeongjun is afraid of showing his weakness in front of the people in that room, and most importantly, to someone that used to be the strength when he was down yet now is the reason why he is almost letting little streams of tears formed on his cheeks.

Another beat passes, Hyeongjun steps backwards again. His body starts to tremble, and he bites his lips, trying hard to contain his tears. He finally braces himself to look at Wonjin, and his heart got shattered right away.

The pain and hurt, it’s carved all over his face. And what breaks Hyeongjun’s heart the most, is how the older still smiles and gives a simple nod, giving a cue that he can leave the scene and go away from the stage just like that.

So Hyeongjun runs away, and Wonjin just stares at his back painfully.

Some people are meant to meet each other, but not all of them are meant to be with each other. Both Wonjin and Hyeongjun wish their case isn’t like that, but they can’t deny that there’s nothing they can do about it except of accepting it. The universe made their path crossed to be the strength for each other, because that time, no one understands Wonjin and Hyeongjun more than they understand each other.

Getting together, rather put more misunderstandings between them. It’s the way the universe is trying to tell them that no, you guys aren’t supposed to be one. They spent weeks or even months ignoring the signs, and though it’s a little late, at the end, they finally acknowledge it.

Still, it isn’t an easy fix.

Maybe it’s too early to say that since only a day has passed, but they were sure of it. Letting go is hard, especially when the love is still up in the air. It’s like they’re back to square one, when they first met in the restroom; the difference is while they have each other back then, they have no one now. Technically they still have other close friends, but it’s not the same.

Because as said before, no one understand them deeply like how they used to.

And for that reason, they know they’re bound to come back to each other. But before that, they need to heal, to prepare their heart, to finally accept their fate; because when that happens, they’ll not be lovers anymore. They’ll be friends.

Surely it will take a long time, but they have the time, and they want to make use of it.

Gossips are spreading fast after their performance that night, obviously because who even ends a supposed-to-be sweet performance like that if there isn’t any internal conflict? Most of them are right though, about Wonjin and Hyeongjun’s break up. But what only a few of them are right, is the fact that HamSong isn’t put into an end as well. They’re just taking a break, until they’re ready to rehearse and perform together again. They never disclosed it publicly though, they don’t feel the need to. People will find out sooner or later, anyway.

A full seven months is how long it takes for Hyeongjun to finally drop short bubble messages for the older.

> **_Hyeongjun_ **
> 
> _Can we talk?_
> 
> _That is, if you want to_
> 
> **_Wonjin_ **
> 
> _No greetings after 7 months I see_
> 
> _But sure, meet me in the café I work_

Standing in front of the café feels nostalgic for Hyeongjun as he has visited the place a lot of times back then when they were still together. He puts his hand on the pockets of his coat, covering that he’s actually fidgeting to die down the nervousness in him. He has convinced himself that he has moved on, but he’s afraid that his wall would crumble straight away at the sight of his ex. He lets out a final sigh before he pushes the door, sounding the tiny bell.

After placing his order, he doesn’t take a sit right away. Instead, he waits near the counter as his orbs observe the person who’s doing his order—Ham Wonjin himself. He watches the older delicately mixed different kind of liquid, and he picks up every little change of expression in every process; it’s something he likes to do even before.

“You didn’t change a single bit,” the man smiles when he hands over the cup of macchiato to the younger.

He returns the smile, “So are you.”

Hyeongjun is a fool for being afraid that he would break down in front of him, because he forgot that even before they started dating, Wonjin was his comfort. He has always been his comfort. Even after seven months of no contact, his presence still feels the same. He doesn’t even feel nervous anymore.

They sit down after Wonjin asks for a permission with his workmate to have a talk with Hyeongjun. The conversation flows smoothly, and they start to exchange stories of themselves in the seven months they spent without each other.

No grand things happened in both of their lives, but something is significantly different: the glint in their eyes and the tone in their voices. There is no sadness, no nervousness, no disappointment. Just sincerity and genuineness, and that’s what make them conclude that they’ve completely healed and ready to start again.

“So, it’s a rebirth of HamSong?”

“HamSong never died, though.”

[(god bless) the broken road.]

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading until the end! Kudos and comments are highly appreciated <3
> 
> -c.


End file.
